Pre-Race Nerves

In just under 3 weeks time, I will face my first real test of how winter training has progressed and I have to say that I'm feeling a little apprehensive. That sounds a little crazy, especially when I've got 30 years experience of running and racing behind me, but I guess even the experienced amongst us have our moments!

Last year at the Run for L'Arche Half Marathon, I dipped under 90 minutes for the first time in a very long time, literally by the skin of my teeth (21 seconds to be precise!) The result was a massive 10 minutes slower than my PR, but it felt great to go sub-90 again and it gave me a huge boost of confidence leading into the Calgary Marathon, where I had one of my best paced runs ever and set me up for what would become a fantastic year of racing.

This winter has been somewhat different. Training has generally gone really well and compared to last year, I've ran similar times at the cross country races give or take a few seconds, and even completed the recent Frozen Ass 50km at a similar pace. When it comes to mileage, I'm slightly ahead and my speed sessions have been far more intense with more structure than the previous year, but thankfully my body appears to have coped well with the demands I've been putting on it.

So why do I feel so apprehensive? At the risk of repeating myself for the umpteenth time, the difference this year has been the weather. I really don't mind running in crazy low temperatures, blizzards or deep snow - bundle up, stay warm and just enjoy what the elements throw at you. Some days it may be bitterly cold, but we are rewarded with some pretty awesome sunny winter's days, with the bluest of skies and fantastic views across the city to the mountains - and yet I feel like I haven't ran outside very much at all this winter.

Beautiful sunny winter days

This time last year, I was running home 3 times a week following a 15km route on snow-free pathways pretty much all the way to Chaparral. This year, we are now living in the developing community of Mahogany where the pathways have not been cleared, and my old running route through Fish Creek was washed away by the devastating floods last June, so I have very little choice but to stay on the roads. The pavements have  been consistently covered in ice and when they're not icy, they've been covered in several centimeters of snow. I've fallen on the ice countless times this winter, so much so that when I took another tumble last week bringing the count up to goodness knows what, I actually plonked myself down in a big pile of snow and cried, whilst my already battered and bruised knee throbbed away and splurged blood out of a relatively deep cut. When I'm not falling over, I'm getting frustrated at not being able to pick up any speed for fear of falling, or because the snow is too deep to get into a proper stride.

I - along with many other runners across Alberta and in many other Canadian provinces - have been almost forced to run indoors, going mental whilst pounding out endless kilometers on the treadmill - rest assured, the dreaded machine has got alot of work to do if it wants to be my new best friend and compete with the outdoors - even in the depths of winter! Yes, you can get a decent session in, but I always feel that treadmill running is easier - being pushed along by the belt and being forced to keep that pace going. Yes, your legs have to keep up, but in reality I know that I would never be able to keep that pace going outside no matter how many times I go on the treadmill.

-30 but a beautiful day worthy of a smile :-)

I also find it much harder to discipline myself on the treadmill. An 8km easy run at 4.50km pace seems so long and tedious when you're just staring at a wall, so I find myself gradually increasing the speed just to get the session over and done with as soon as possible - 32 minutes is NOT taking it easy, and I know I need to recover from the previous day's hard session. I've even managed a couple of 30+ km runs on the thing, only bearable thanks to some very loud rock music blaring out or by watching some good old British comedy to keep me entertained (thank goodness for Carl Pilkington and Lee Mac!) In all honesty though, I don't feel like I have really tested myself this winter, and whilst I'm sure I've had some fantastic runs outside, they've been slow and sometimes hard work, and have now become distant memories.

So to some degree, I suppose that is why I'm somewhat nervous about doing a half in a couple of weeks. I so desperately want to go sub 90 again at Run for L'Arche, I want to feel that confidence again that tells me that things have been going well, and I want to feel positive as I head closer to the Red Deer Marathon in May. I have no idea how fit I am at the moment. Can I transfer 4.00km pace from the treadmill to the roads in 2 weeks time? Will I be able to keep it going for 21km,  following my 1.26 treadmill half last weekend? I really don't know simply because I've not had the opportunity to test myself properly and it makes me nervous about setting off too fast or too slow, about letting myself and other people down.OK, I've done the cross country races and have felt pretty good, but the terrain is very different and the pace slower than what I would probably do for a half. Indeed, even running a 50k is a completely different kettle of fish.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ever the optimist and always believe that what will be will be, so whilst I may be nervous, there is also an element of excitement about finally getting to race properly too. It isn't just me that has been affected by the long, cold, snowy winter - everybody else has too - so I guess all I can do is what I do best - regardless of the conditions on the day, when that gun goes, go for broke and give it my all - I'm the only person that can influence my result on the day, so no excuses allowed - I intend to get out there, run hard and enjoy the ride!