HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Back in early June,  I came across a new ultra that would start in nearby Canmore - a 50km race on Rocky Mountain trails that would take place early October. I had just done the Calgary Marathon and had the urge to get back in to my ultra running, so I entered the inaugural Grizzly Ultra 50km Trail Race, and planned out my races over the next few months to ensure I was in tip top shape to run well. I was initially hoping that it would help me to be considered for selection to the GB team at the World Trail Running Championships in Anglesey next year, and along with a small amount of prize money on offer, there were enough incentives to motivate me to train hard and run well.

A month or so later, I had some exciting news and things were put on hold - I was expecting my first child in March next year - but by August I faced the devastating news that I had lost my baby which affected me physically, emotionally and mentally. The Grizzly had already become a non-starter having eased back on my running, but following this upset, I couldn't even contemplate jogging around the block let alone running 50km in the mountains.

Over the next few weeks, I felt apathetic with no motivation for anything, but thankfully  Andy and his parents were extremely supportive and helped to pull me through, whilst Wilson was an absolute God-send and cheered me up no end (it's amazing how animals can interpret your mood and do their utmost best to perk you up!)

During this time, I was still getting updates from the Grizzly organisers about how things were progressing for the race, and with each passing day, I was beginning to feel that I still wanted to be a part of it. By early  September I had made my mind up - I would start the race and just do one lap - 2 weeks later I made the decision to try and make it the whole way round. I knew I wouldn't win, I knew that I would never get selected for the GB team on my current fitness or on my performance in this race, but what I would gain from it was the opportunity to experience running on the trails in the Canadian wilderness.  And so it was that with just 2 long runs of around 16 miles under my belt since June, and with an average weekly mileage of no more than 35 miles, I found myself toeing the line at the Canmore Nordic Centre on Thanksgiving Weekend - no expectations and no race plans except to enjoy the run and to make it round in one piece so I could share my experience with others.

Race day dawned and we were greeted with a frosty -3 degrees, glorious sunshine, and a dusting of snow on the mountains overlooking Canmore. Grizzly Base Camp was buzzing with activity on arrival at the Nordic Centre and I was feeling very excited if a  little apprehensive about the next few hours. It was over a year since I did my last ultra - the Commonwealth Trail Championships in Anglesey when I represented England and had the most awful race ever. That was a similar distance, but held at sea level on a mostly flat course through Newborough Forest. I ran just over 5 hours and finished second to last - my run was so slow that the finish gantry had been taken down as I approached the finish line and everybody had gone back to their hotels - it was very disheartening and I felt like crying that day, whilst my confidence was knocked in to oblivion.

Thankfully the Grizzly would be different. For once I was doing it for me and rather than being at sea level, we were already at 4,500 feet and the route was far from flat with an elevation gain in excess of 8000' - the only similarity with Anglesey was that we would be running through the forests. I was also used to competing in ultras where I have a support crew who fed and watered me at strategic points throughout the race - today, whilst refreshments were available at the end of each of the 5 laps, we were expected to be self-sufficient. In addition, there was the threat of wildlife encounters, and the pre-race briefing warned us to be aware and on the lookout for bears, cougars, and coyotes, the latter of which had been spotted on the course during a pre-race check by the organisers around an hour or so earlier, along with several deer. With 2 bottles of energy drink, peanut butter and chocolate chip clifbars, extra clothing  and my can of bear spray tucked into my backpack, I certainly wasn't used to carrying my own stuff and having the extra weight. In a way though, it made it more exciting for me, more of an adventure, and I couldn't wait to get going.

Pre-Race and a cold and frosty morning in Canmore

 The course consisted of 5 laps;

Lap 1 Grey Wolf at 14km

Lap 2 Cougar at 12km

Lap 3 Lynx at 12km

Lap 4 Killer Bees 7km

Lap 5 Coyote 5km

With over 200 solo runners and a similar number of relay teams, I figured there would always be somebody close by, so the anxieties about a lonely bear encounter started to diminish, particularly on lap 1 where there was the sound of trampling feet for pretty much all the way. I'd started steady, was feeling really comfortable and was enjoying getting into my rhythm which I would hopefully keep going.

Midway through leg 2, I became aware that the number of runners around me was starting to dwindle - one minute there was somebody running alongside and the next, a considerable gap opened and I found myself running alone. The hills were also starting to take their toll on those around me, whilst my own legs were starting to feel heavy and tired.

The first two laps were quite similar - wide woodland trails with plenty of ups and downs, some rocky parts and fantastic views of the mountains. By the end of lap 2, I had already ran further than I had done in nearly 3 months, and with the most difficult legs still to come, I really didn't know how I would cope. My legs were starting to tire, but having spotted Andy and Wilson at the end of lap 2, it gave me a positive boost for what lay ahead.

Leg 3 was a killer and it really did knock the stuffing out of me. There was certainly variety with a very steep descent that went on forever, with plenty of twists and turns, sharp drops and steep climbs, tree roots, rocks and snow covered bridges. Heading downhill for so long meant that at some point we would have to go up, but even the warnings in the pre-race information hadn't prepared me for what was coming. By now, I really was on my own, and the only sound I was aware of was my own heavy breathing and my little bear bell jingling away on my backpack. This section was in very dense woodland with lots of blind bends and I consciously made a noise just in case some critter was lurking ahead and I startled it.  I had ran around 20 miles or so, and as I started the climb back up to base camp, fatigue really was setting in and the lack of long runs and hill work was clearly showing. This was where the mental battle overcomes the physical, where the brain is urging you onwards yet the body just wants to give up. I ended up running and walking up the hills, but then I reached what is known as coal chute and I stopped in my tracks. It was like a sheer cliff of about 200 feet, but rather than a rock face, it consisted of soft trail making it difficult to get a grip. My thighs were burning even when just walking up and I figured that if a critter fancied pouncing on me,  now would be the time as I really wouldn't be able to fight back! Amazingly, some runners were flying up that hill - and I mean runners, not people that were walking like me.

I tried to focus on just getting to the end of this leg as by then, I would only have 12km to do - a little over 7 miles, and I knew that I would most likely finish. Gritting my teeth and thinking positively, I eventually got back to base camp, grabbed some Gatorade before heading off on leg 4.

The next lap didn't get much better. Even though it was only about 4 miles, the first 2 were all up hill and again through dense forest on single track trails and very few people around. By now, I was starting to feel a little dizzy, I was getting palpitations and every time I tried to run, I just couldn't control my breathing. I remember having this feeling when I did the Swiss Alpine 78km Mountain Marathon a few years ago, the cause being altitude and dehydration, so I stopped and had a break, drank a full bottle of Gatorade to get some fluids and salts into me, and ate half a Clifbar. I managed to keep jogging and walking up the hill, and about 20 mins or so later, I felt much better and was able to put more effort into running. I was very aware of a very sore big toe and figured that it must be black by now, and as soon as I faced any downhill, my foot slipped forward in my shoe and battered my toe some more. To compensate, I scrunched up my toes which was causing my ankle to ache and my hip to tighten up due to my change in running posture. With 2 miles of uphill, this time it meant 2 miles of downhill and flat running on some quite rugged terrain, and my feet didn't half take a battering. Cursing with pain for the next half hour or so, I eventually completed my 4th lap, and with just 5km to go for lap 5, I knew now that even if I walked, I would finish the race.

Battle of the mind and body - end of lap 4 and heading off for 5th and final lap

More ups, more downs, but some amazing views greeted us on lap 5. I ended up fishing my camera out of my backpack to take some photos as it was such an outstanding view and it felt very surreal being here doing a trail race in the Rocky Mountains. For many years I have dreamt about living and running over here, but I never believed I would actually be doing it, yet here I was and I was loving it.

With views like this, the pain was definitely worth it

45 minutes after setting off on lap 5, I was heading towards the finish line of the Grizzly 50km Ultra Trail Marathon. I was elated and I felt quite emotional and so happy and relieved that I had done it. All the upset of the past few months disappeared as the realisation of what I'd just done dawned on me. Andy was there to greet me at the finish line along with Wilson and I was also so pleased to see our friend Neil from the UK and Alan Lam who had come out from Calgary to offer his support to many of his friends racing today. I collected my momento - a Grizzly beer glass that would certainly get plenty of use - and a small chocolate bear.

It had actually taken me around 5 hours 45 minutes to finish but I had finished 11th lady, 3rd in my age group and 39th overall - I really couldn't have asked for more given the lack of preparation and focus over the past few weeks.

In all honesty, prior to the race I had no idea how I would do and had so many thoughts and doubts over the preceding week. Would I finish? What pace should I run at? What fuel do I need to take on board? I ran how I felt, and because there was no pressure, it has to be the most enjoyable ultra race I have ever done. It's made me realise that ultra running is where I belong as no amount of PB's or race wins on the road have - or will - ever come close to the emotion I felt when finishing the Grizzly.  Any race is a test of one's ability to push themselves to the limit, but for me personally, I feel like I only truly test myself when I have to battle with the physical and mental side of things - when my legs are crying out in pain but I still have another 2 or 3 hours of running, when there is yet another hill ahead of me but I want so desperately to finish the race that I climb that hill as that's the way to success, even though I could just turn around and walk 400m in the opposite direction and quit. It's the risk of being out there on the trails and being addicted to that element of risk and the unknown. I also find that ultra runners, no matter what their ability, are a different breed of runner. They are very aware of their fellow competitors and look out for them. They are more outdoorsy and tend to have an adventurous spirit and positive outlook on life, they are very unassuming people that are content with life but enjoy pushing themselves to the extreme, and I can honestly say that in the 30 years that I have been racing, no matter where in the world, I have rarely felt that sense of belonging that I feel when I have competed in an ultra.

I'm now on the lookout for more ultras over here in Canada, and as I've said before, there are so many to choose from. One caught my eye earlier this year before I moved here permanently - the Iron Legs 50 miler starting from nearby Bragg Creek and taking in some 20,000 feet of climbing  - and following recommendation from Alan, this may be my main focus for next year, all things permitting. The Rocky Mountains are only a short drive away and it seems such a shame to see them every day and not get out there to explore. I'm an outdoor, happy go lucky kind of girl that likes thing tough, so why the hell not?!